no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
