dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
