I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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