Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize