I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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