dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
