Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
