someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
