it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
