no, he came in my armpit
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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