i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
