He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
