His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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