I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
