Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
