This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
