My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
