i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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