I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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