Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
