can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
