They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
