She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
