I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
