i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
