You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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