How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
