idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
