Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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