Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
