Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
