There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
