i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
