There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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