How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
