nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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