My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
