Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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