ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
