Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
