I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
