He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
