he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just gargled with NyQuil
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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