just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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