That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
