He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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