Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
