how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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