he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
