I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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