is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
