community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
