i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
