the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
