I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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