My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
