i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
