need another drink. this is the easiest way
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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