OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
