my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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