Me too!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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