Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
pop tarts are not kleenex
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
