Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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