It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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